It's been a whooping 2 months since i've posted anything. Not that my life has been super exciting or super boring. Nothing of the extremes. Just plain mediocre. What a terible word.
Just yesterday i had a complaint about my lack of updates and I'm beginning to wonder if i should really keep this up. My once in a month kinda posts that aren't really giving people any kind of insight into my personal world. Seriously, i dun think that the stuff i've offered so far has allowed anyone to see the real me. i just can't decide if i wanna let loose my fingers here. I dun wan pple to be negatively affected by what i tink ya noe.
Anyway, much did happen during this 2 months of my absence. i dun wanna do into details tho it's wat you nosy parkers out there really wanna noe. The scoop. The inside story. Well, too bad... that just ain't my cuppa. Ha.
I nearly got into trouble trouble with God. Major trouble. Not funny at all so i wun type haha. More than once this whole year i had allowed my heart to be tempted, to be stolen away from God. Thank God for His grace that i was even able to pull thru at all. If not, i dunno what would haf become of me. What a scary thot... God is indeed a faithful God, even when i was not. Sry, but i name no names so i wun say exactly wat happened.
Anyway, praise God that i managed to(not without plenty of difficulties) pay my one year vow to Him. Now, i am faced with the question and dilemma of what i wanna do, what is God wanting me to do, what can i expect, what should i expect. Argh. I really hate to think of such things but something Andy mentioned hit me. He said that if we are going nowhere in life today it's because we din make a decision yesterday. A right decision will warrant a good future and vice versa. So, no decision means no future. Wah. I got no future. But God you said in Jer29 that "For I know the thots that i think towards you, thots of good and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." So how can i say that i got no future. God is just waiting for me to take the first step, to make that right decision for my future. Rather than leaving everything to their own devices which means ultimate destruction. Yea, the next one week i think will be a trying week for me, gotta sort out many things and make decisions that could make or break me. Holy Spirit, i need Your guidance, Your help, cos i know that i can't trust my own judgement. Talk to me, reveal to e God, what should i do? I will really do my best to trust You, tho it could be scary. Let my heart be so open to You. let Your will be done. Amen.
